April 1, 2003

By Michael Strickland

Peace on Earth

Today, the planets must have been perfectly aligned for the day's momentous events to have taken place. In the span of 24 hours, the tone of the twenty-first century has changed from gloomy pessimism to glowing hope. With the confirmed news out of Baghdad that Saddam Hussein was indeed killed during that first "decapitation attack," the Iraqi resistance crumbled like a sand castle, and coalition forces took the capital city late today without firing a shot. A British special forces unit took control of a bunker in southern Baghdad without incident; inside, they discovered 4,000 gallons of VX nerve gas, as well as an unspecified amount of anthrax. Iraqi people across the city paraded through the streets, cheering and setting fire to portraits of Saddam Hussein at the news of the dictator's demise.

International reaction to the sudden turn of events has also been swift and positive. U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan praised coalition forces for their efficiency and thanked them for bringing the matter to a quick and decisive conclusion. Dominique de Villepin, France's foreign minister, echoed the Secretary-General's sentiments. "With the discovery of weapons of mass destruction hidden in Baghdad, France now concedes that it misjudged the regime of Saddam Hussein. We regret any inconvenience we may have caused," he continued, "and promise to be more polite to American tourists in the future." In Pyongyang, North Korea quietly allowed an international team of inspectors from the International Atomic Energy Agency to visit its nuclear facilities, perhaps cowed by the overwhelming military success in Iraq. And perhaps least significantly, Hollywood celebrities Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and Sean Penn called a press conference to apologize for their previous criticism of the Bush administration. Quipped Moore, "We now agree with our colleague William Goldman: In Hollywood, nobody knows anything." Sean Penn added, "Please come see our movies."

In a related development that will surely signal President Bush's reelection next year, the stock market soared on the news out of Iraq. The Dow shattered all records by closing over 10,000 for the first time since 2001, recording an unbelievable 2,158-point one-day gain. Senator Tom Daschle (D-SD), perhaps trying to salvage any shred of hope for his party in 2004, congratulated the Bush administration and promised to support the president's tax cut proposals. And on the personal economic front, I received a job offer today to head the online division of a major San Diego-based publisher at an annual salary of $90,000.

It's hard to fathom how the events of a single day could so completely alter the course of current events. Even if tomorrow's news is more mundane, surely we'll have good times—no, great times—ahead. If nothing else, all I can say is, "April Fool's"!

 

Development note: I've noticed that this site doesn't look like it should in Netscape Navigator. Rather than waste time jury-rigging it to look right in a soon-to-be-obsolete browser, I'll just add the cliché "This site best viewed with Internet Explorer."
©2003
Michael Strickland ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

What is "The Daily Strick"?

I have long called myself a writer, but too often I don't do what a writer must do daily: write. So you, dear reader, are the beneficiary of my resolution to make a positive change in at least one area of my life. Every single day of this new year, I will write something, anything, and post it here. It is my intention to use this daily exercise to jump-start my too-long-dormant creative energies, and perhaps generate some worthwhile material this year. Hopefully you will find at least an occasional amusement or insight in my daily musings.

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Previously...

3/31: Anti-Americans
3/30: The Next 9/11?
3/29: Tomorrow's Gonna Suck
3/28: Willing to Change
3/27: Tropical Memories
3/26: Regurgitation
3/25: Piece of the Puzzle
3/24: Echoes in Eternity
3/23: Booing for Columbine
3/22: Not Recommending Diving
3/21: Works in Progress
3/20: Three Rings of Shock & Awe
3/19: Paris—A Beautiful Blur
3/18: Ignorant Idiot Man
3/17: The Pirate Queen
3/16: To War or Not to War
3/15: So Long, Seau
3/14: Telemarketing Pays
3/13: Free, For Now
3/12: Chicken Little Gets Respect
3/11: Axis of Evil
3/10: Writing Kept Me From Writing
3/9: King Arthur
3/8: The Women are Smarter
3/7: Salt on Old Wounds
3/6: 3/3/03, 3:33 p.m.
3/5: Beer Day
3/4: Pulling the Trigger
3/3: Make 'Em Laugh
3/2: Whither Iraq?
3/1: Strickland Cellars
Previous months in The Archive

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