February 11, 2003

By Michael Strickland

And the Winner Is...

The Academy Award nominations were announced today. Since the awards ceremony has become such a ridiculous popularity contest, I thought I would revisit my satirical Oscar nominations of years past and offer up my choices for this year's winners in the major categories.

BEST PICTURE
"Resident Evil," Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, producers

BEST DIRECTOR
Pope John Paul II, the Catholic Church, "About A Boy"

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Osama bin Laden, "Catch Me If You Can"

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Winona Ryder, "Possession"

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Trent Lott, "Minority Report"

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Whitney Houston, "High Crimes"

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
"Analyze That," Iraq's Weapons Declaration

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
"Murder By Numbers," Arthur Anderson, Enron, WorldCom

 

Development note: I've noticed that this site doesn't look like it should in Netscape Navigator. Rather than waste time jury-rigging it to look right in a soon-to-be-obsolete browser, I'll just add the cliché "This site best viewed with Internet Explorer."
©2003
Michael Strickland ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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I have long called myself a writer, but too often I don't do what a writer must do daily: write. So you, dear reader, are the beneficiary of my resolution to make a positive change in at least one area of my life. Every single day of this new year, I will write something, anything, and post it here. It is my intention to use this daily exercise to jump-start my too-long-dormant creative energies, and perhaps generate some worthwhile material this year. Hopefully you will find at least an occasional amusement or insight in my daily musings.

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Previously...

2/10: Exploration is Risky Business
2/9: Staphylococcus
2/8: Morning Cup of Kofi
2/7: Game Over
2/6: The Eagle Never Landed
2/5: Pope: Potter No Problem
2/4: Time for Another Rewrite
2/3: A Matter of Opinions
2/2: Suicidal Bravado
2/1: Godspeed, Columbia
Archive:
JANUARY 2003

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